Monday, February 19, 2007

Painting the town, really the house, red ....

Last Friday I came home to my anti-housework husband to find him suggesting we paint the house this weekend. My gut reaction was to say no - I wasn't really in that mindset. But I have to take advantage of these rare moments when he wants to volunteer for something like this.

So off we went to Lowe's and Ikea - and several hundred dollars ready we were armed with paint, supplies, new door knobs, the works. It wasn't the most fun weekend, but it was nice to get things done. I hate spending our precious weekend time like that, but it must be done sometimes I know. I really appreciated his willingness to do it, although he did get grumpy about it mid-day Saturday. It was SOOO nice to be able to remind him it was HIS idea!

And for the record, we painted the walls white, tan and black. Yes - I know we're so adventurous when it comes to color. We couldn't agree on anything, so we went neutral for the time being.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

What a Week!


Sorry for my absense ladies. Caught the flu Monday and tonight is the first night I felt like doing anything. I was NOT the optimal time to be sick. It's nuts at work and we have so much to do. But, I guess that's just life's way of teaching us to slow down.


It did have an interesting impact on the dynamics between me and my husband this week. Thankfully, he's been home all week and has been a wonderful nurse. He's also been great about picking up around the house and doing things I normally do. I learned that if I don't get things done, eventually he will. (just not always on my timeline) I also think he realized all of the things I normally take care of and he doesn't notice. I think my biggest problem is sometimes I don't have enough faith in my husband. He is so busy and I'm just sure he won't have time, or won't think of it, or won't notice, but he normally does, eventually.

*the pic is one we took in Breckinridge, CO a few weeks ago. It was so much fun.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Why is housework "my thing"?

I wanted to strangle my husband tonight. We had a very productive weekend of furniture shopping and house/car maintenance. It needed to be done and I was really excited how he dug in and got things done.

So then tonight in the middle of an argument over phone ettiquette (more on that in another blog) - he says "I spent all weekend doing YOUR stuff, and now I just want to work on my taxes, so give me my time."

WHEN DID HOUSE RESPONSIBILITIES BECOME ***my**** STUFF? That doesn't seem fair. He's said this stuff before and he knows it drives me crazy. But in his mind, that is how he categorizes it because I like to get things done when they need to be done not HAVE to be done. He waits until it's an emergency situation.

I'm trying to understand it from his shoes - I consider finance and investment thing HIS stuff. Maybe it's the same thing? I don't know.

I'm still fuming over it and if he wasn't surrounded by mounds of tax receipts and computer cords, I'd confront him some more (plus - Grammy red carpet is on!).

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Letting My "Tongue" Go


So - after steaming a little since I got home Sunday night, I finally sat down with my husband tonight for a heart to heart. It just bothered me how much of a mess he makes and how he doesn't seem to notice when I pick up after him.


The problem comes down to this ... he responds to me in the way he would need to be responded to. I treat him the way I wish to be treated. He doesn't need all the thank you's or recognition that I need from him - so therefore he doesn't offer it to me. I NEED to know that he notices when I'm working extra hard to help out around the house. Right now, he has soooo much going on. His day job is crazy, and he's involved in some business endeavors outside of work that are very stressful. I get that he has little emotional or physical energy left after everything is done. It comes down to me just needing a thank you.


So - he says he's going to try harder. And he just needs me to be understanding of everything that's going on. Sounds fair to me. I just want to conquor these issues. The #1 thing we fight over is house responsibilities. If we can master this, it will simplify things a lot.


On a COMPLETELY unrelated note - I ran into Bon Jovi today. I work at a TV station and there is also a radio station in the office building. So I'm entering the elevator, and he walks out. I'm such a bonehead I didn't realize it was him until he'd walked into the studio. Once I got my wits about me, I alerted my friends in the newsroom and we got our picture taken with me. For the record, his arm WAS around my waste. ahhhhhh

Monday, February 5, 2007

Biting my Tongue

This weekend I flew down to Atlanta to see my friend who is pregnant with twins. She's doing okay by the way. They have been able to keep the contractions slowed down for the most part - and are hoping to hold things off for a couple of weeks. Thank you to those of you who sent your thoughts and prayers.

So my husband had a rare bachelor weekend in Philadelphia all to himself. I expected and wanted him to take time to have a little fun and do things he can't or doesn't do while I'm around. But I guess I also had a silent expectation that he might get a thing or two done around the house. My windshield wiper blades need to be changed, etc. Instead, I came home to find nothing like that done and a mess in the middle of the living room floor of a ski bag explosion that occured as he was looking for some gear. I haven't really said anything because I know it will be guaranteed to start a fight, but I've been steaming just a little since last night. It comes from the fact that when I have a weekend to myself in Philly I typically will get something done for us - even if it's as little as just grocery shopping. None of this crossed my husband's mind.

So I'm not sure if I will say anything or not. It won't lead to anything positive, I am sure. I've been thinking about it from his side - that this weekend alone at home is so rare, he wanted to take advantage of it. And then I think about the fact that it is MY CHOICE when I take care of things around the house on a free weekend. Bottom line, is I know what eeds to get done, I take care of it. He either waits for me to raise holy hell, OR things are so bad (fridge is entirely empty or wiper blades are non-existent) before he takes action.

Anyway - now I've gotten my self all fired up and he's due home from work in a few minutes. I better calm down or be prepared to brave the storm. Maybe I'll just tell him to read my blog!

Thursday, February 1, 2007

Perspective


It's so easy to get caught up in day to day life and forget what we should be grateful for - and how quickly life can change.


This weekend I was supposed to out of town for a baby shower for a friend who has tried for so many years to have a baby. Finally she and her husband got pregnant with twins. Today, she's having complications and the doctors aren't sure they can keep the babies alive. We're still hoping things will work out, but it's been a sobering day for me. I can't imagine what she's feeling and how scared she must be. I don't know anyone else in this earth who are more fit to be perfect parents, and they've had the hardest time getting pregnant. Now, this.


Anyway, this really doesn't have anything to do with being a weekend wife, but I thought it was an important thing to share. I don't know about you guys, but there are times I bug my husband about the silliest things - like cleaning crumbs off of the counter or putting his shoes away. Then you stop and think - wow, what if we were facing what my friend and her husband are right now? Would the crumbs or shoes REALLY matter? When my husband comes home, I'm going to try to remember this, and remember that there are small things and big things ... and too often at least I, make the small things big.


I posted a picture of me and my girlfriends with this post.

My friend I'm so concerned about is the second from the left.